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Hip Replacement Surgery Tip #64: What If Dr. Seuss Wrote About A Hip Replacement – One Hip, Two Hip, Broke Hip, Fixed Hip

One Hip, Two Hip, Broke Hip, Fixed Hip

Theodor Seuss Geisel was born in 1904 and passed away in 1991, but his books and style, live on. He sold over 600 million copies of his children’s books by the time of his death.

I read most of his books to my daughter. She especially liked ‘One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish‘ and ‘Green Eggs and Ham.’

With that in mind, here is my take on what Dr. Seuss would have written about a hip replacement.

So set your walker aside, take a long cool sip of Ensure, grab a handful of Advil (just pretend the walker is Johnny, the Ensure is your fifth shot of Johnny and the Advils are M&M’s)

Better than Advil

…and read out loud in a perfect Dr. Seuss staccato.

One Hip, Two Hip, Broke Hip, Fixed Hip

One hip
Two hip
Broke hip
Fixed hip.

Replace your hip

Who liked to run?
And walk fast for fun?
Who can barely stand?
Because your hip is done.

Yes. Some are broke. Some will be too.
Some are old. And some are new.
Some are sad.
And some are glad.
And some are very, very bad.

Why are they
Sad and glad and bad?
I did not know.
Until I finished rehab.

I do not like
Bad hips and pain.
Would you like
To walk with a cane?

Walked with bad gait
Went until too late
I now realize
That I should not wait.

Medical test

One hip
Two hip
Broke hip
Fixed hip.

This hip has a little scar.
Now I can drive a car.
Say! What a lot
Of hips there are.

(Background chorus by Orthopedic quartet)
We see them come.
We see them go.
Some are fast.
And some are slow.
Some are high
And some are low.
Not one of them
Is like another.
We just operate
And wait for another.
(End Chorus)

Orthopedic Quartet

 

Everyone, sing the chorus…