Nobody likes getting a catheter. I was assured that it wasn’t a big deal and this ‘little’ procedure would be done as soon as I was ‘out.’
The last thing I remember after my spinal, is seeing a nurse taking a long tube of rubberish hosing and holding from her chest to her outstretched arm, much like my grandmother used to do as she measured cloth at the fabric store. And with that, I was gone…
What has changed?
Well, before my catheter:
Animals would be terrified…
Children would flee…
Women would gasp…
Men would cheer!
There probably is no correlation between the usage of a catheter during surgery and strength of my urination stream, but… here is my story.
Before the catheter: I could use my urination stream as a powerful force for crowd control or fighting major fires.
Environmental critics called me a deforestation threat as I could cut down an entire swath of bamboo trees, effortlessly.
Here is my stunt double re-enacting the ‘before’ situation for you.
After the catheter: My meager urine stream couldn’t even disrupt the seeds of a single dandelion plant.
Now, I don’t know if it was the catheter, or just my perception, but this is how it seems.
Read the full account of my, “Day of hip replacement surgery,” including more catheter madness.
For those of you who want to see the full ‘catheter movie’ here is the ‘his and hers’ versions.